Some Tips I am Finding Helpful . . .

A few tips from the Skinny Rules that I am using today that are so awesome, I figured I'd share:

1. Writing everything down. From taking my vitamins, to eating a meal, to the exercise I write down the time I did it. Also helps to remind me to eat snacks and all that.

2. Set an alarm on my phone to remind me to eat meals and snacks. I am the worst about eating snacks especially and letting time lapse on meals so I am eating lunch at like 2:30 or 3:00 in the afternoon.

3. A great tip for making sure you drink enough water: I got a plastic pitcher with a tap on it from Walmart earlier this year (I actually bought two but one was Large and one was small) I used the small one, measured out the 8 1/2 ozs I needed to drink of water put it in, then sliced up a whole lemon into slices and threw those in, put it in the fridge and made a goal of drinking the whole thing by the end of the day. I don't know about you but I hate drinking so much water and unless it's cold it tastes gross to me, a little lemon for flavor and voila! If you are going to be out and about grab an empty water bottle and fill it from the tap and it's nice and cold.

4. Have snacks already made, pre-measure and make up snacks so that they are ready to grab and eat when your alarm goes off. Slice up fruit like strawberries and measure a cup. Ziploc has these fun litttle snack sized baggies that you can pre-measure and bag up those things so you can grab and go.

5. Make working out fun by calling it playtime. After breakfast this morning the boys and Corinne and I went on a walk with the stroller. Gavin rode his bike. We have a loop around a water catchment that is good for a dog park. I had Gavin ride behind me and play "chase" to see how fast he could go and keep me going at a good pace. I went around 3 times and then Gavin didn't want to ride anymore so we went and got my exercise balance ball and the boys rolled and kicked that in the field/catchment and we were out playing for an hour! I didn't even realize we had been outside that long until my alarm for snacktime went off. Making exercise fun helps you forget how long you're going for.

6. Taking prenatal vitamins and Flaxseed Oil capsules: ok so this isn't necessarily from the book but it's a good thing to practice. I have been breastfeeding and haven't taken prenatals despite the fact that my body really needs the extra vitamins to help with what Corinne is taking from me. I also have been researching that flaxseed or flaxseed oil is good for balancing your insulin levels. I have PCOS and insulin resistance so anything that can help with this is great for me. I also read that while breastfeeding taking flaxseed oil can add some much needed fat to your milk supply for your baby so it's a win/win situation with it. 

The Skinny Rules

So a friend of mine recommended a book to me called the flat belly diet book and I had looked up some stuff from it the other day and started making a list of foods I should be eating and snacks to get to replace my horrible habit of eating processed sugary snacks. I went grocery shopping yesterday with the intention of buying better and then picking up said book from Fred Meyers to find that they didn't have it and all they had was the diabetic's version in hard cover for way more then I wanted to spend. So I sat and stared at the books for a while and a book caught my eye called "The Skinny Rules, The 101 Secrets Every Skinny Girl Knows" I opened it up and instantly fell in love with the style of the book and it's no nonsense approach on how to do things a skinny girl would and lose weight and feel better. First rule "Believe you can be skinny" well that is pretty straight forward and funnily enough I hadn't even thought about doing that! The first rule talks about changing your attitude, if you have a defeatist's attitude you're going to defeat yourself. You have to believe you can be skinny before you will be. When I start looking back the reason I stopped working out and eating good was because I wasn't seeing the results I wanted and my attitude wasn't the greatest around the time I gave up. What's funny though is since I gave up I've actually lost a couple pounds eating like crap and not exercising as I predicted. I haven't really been eating THAT bad but I haven't been watching what I eat as closely and definitely am not breaking my back working out like I was and I'm seeing more results. I wonder why that is? Skip to skinny rule number 16: Splurge every day, reason: it helps to curb your cravings, making you less likely to let your craving build up to an uncontrollable binge. I know this is me! To a T! Plus it says think of it this way, if someone tells you that you can't have something, it makes you want it even more right? So those people who deprive themselves and say they can't have it want it more! Even if you really didn't want it at all in the first place, the junk foods or things you aren't supposed to eat become more desirable. I also like the rules: Get in the driver's seat and call on a co-pilot. Take control of your life, weight and health and get someone to help you (one person or a full on car full lol) Add family members and friends to your car as your co-pilots and call on them when you are having a tough time staying motivated when trying to lose weight. This is where you guys come in, you've seen my alter ego Negator. She is a mean old lady and turns everything into drama and makes me give up. When you see Negator slip in I need you guys to give me encouraging words, even if it's "don't give up! you can do this! I believe in you!" you have no idea how much that helps me when I get down in the dumps. Today is a new start, I'm going to follow rule number 28 "Play the pounds away" instead of thinking of exercise as I'm working out, I'm going to think of it as playing. Kids don't go to a playground or run around outside and go ok I'm going to workout for 30 mins, they just play. So this morning the game plan is to take the younger two kids and put them in a stroller and go for a walk with Gavin riding his bike and just enjoy being outside. It's just a walk, for fun! Because if I think of it as Work then I won't enjoy it right? Here's hoping changing the way I think about things will help me even more. Wish me luck!

It's a new day!

Ok so after some praying and pondering on what to do I decided 30 day shred was just not for me BUT I plan on trying a whole bunch of different videos and doing reviews on them for those of you like me who are trying to lose the baby weight or just get in shape and be healthy and I'll give tips on what has worked for me so far exercise and diet wise. Some of us don't have tons of time to workout between kids and housework so I'm going to rent a workout video from Netflix once every couple weeks (depending on if I like it) and I'll post a review.If anyone is interested I joined a site called "My Fitness Pal" http://www.myfitnesspal.com from a recommendation of a friend of mine and it's helping me already keep track of my food and exercise and when I lose weight I can track my weight loss. My e'mail is beeinyourbonnethats@hotmail.com, username: Wannaberedhead for those who want to join and add me as a friend, we can keep track of each other's progress and cheer each other on!

First review I'm starting with is the 30 day shred. I've had this video for months and have started and stopped it but I made it to 3 weeks before giving up on it because it's 20 lbs in 30 days claim is a bunch of hooey! Not that I was looking to lose that much but at least a pound or something? Now don't get me wrong, it is a good workout but anything that claims that much is just a joke. Jillian Michaels the famous Biggest Loser trainer has put together a video with 3 workouts with 3 difficulties. Anyone going in as a beginner will find that even the first one is hard! BUT it's a great workout and she is really good at getting you to push and not give up. If you're serious and push through you will improve in endurance and strength. That being said I did not lose a pound in the 3 weeks I did this workout, I changed my diet and nothing. I know I felt better, my clothes didn't really change as far as I can tell but I did feel my muscles being worked. I am sure lots of people get good results but for me it just wasn't the right workout for me. I think part of my issue is I need more cardio and less toning. After the first 10 days of workout 1 my endurance greatly improved. When I started I had to stop several times in the middle of it to catch my breath but at day 10 I could push through and felt good at the end of that workout. Workout two on the other hand was not as good, I had a really hard time with workout two, she incorporates a lot of pushups and plank position (holding yourself up in kind of a straight push up position and doing stuff with your legs) and that was really hard. I was able to do them but it really hurt and I believe all the up and down actually injured my left ankle slightly. From a lot of other people and reviews I've read this is common, the workout is open for a lot of injury. I never did end up doing workout three because two was hard and never got easier for me. After 3 weeks and no move of the scale I got fed up and stopped. I have started walking for an hour a day and continue with tracking my diet and eating healthier but 30 day shred just wasn't for me. Another unfortunate thing with this dvd is Jillian Michaels gets annoying at about the 3rd day and the workout that you are supposed to do for 10 days straight over and over gets boring too. I found I would turn down the sound and blast my own music and that would help but any video that you are expected to do every day for 10 days straight should have a few options so that it doesn't get boring, just my thought.

Now that that's done, revealing my new workout plan. I am sending in my 30 day shred video and going to exchange it for The Biggest Loser workout, the original first video just to try it out. Once that is done there is a couple other ones I've added to my que on Netflix. I'd like to try Tae Bo, when I was in high school I took a weights/aerobics class where we did Tae Bo and although it was tough at first, by the end of the semester I could do the advanced workout so I am looking forward to that, plus I love Billy Blanks, he's a great instructor and motivator. I plan on the days that I'm waiting for my new dvd to do some videos from the instant download session.

Today's video was 10 minute solutions: Kick boxing cardio. I did three sessions which ramped up my heartrate but at the same time the instructor moved too fast and didn't give enough time to make sure I had the moves down. Granted I know it's only 10 mins so they have to squeeze in as much as they can but still. I felt lost half the time and just did whatever modified move to keep my heartrate up. I also didn't like the fact that the instructor was really built, it worried me that if I did the moves she did I'd end up really bulky, when I only want toning and weight loss. Anywho that's all for today's review. I hope this helps someone and I look forward to my next workout and hopefully seeing results. I hope someone out there in blogger land is motivated by me, I really am trying despite my negativity and belly aching and as soon as I see results I hope it makes others get off the couch. It's hard but we can do it!

Just call me Negator

I love how when I'm feeling down on myself people around me take it personal. Like when their efforts to cheer me up fail that it's something against them. I'm sorry if everyone saying I look great doesn't always make me feel like it's true. This past week I gave up temporarily because I am frustrated and down on myself. A friend just told me she hadn't weighed herself in 2 weeks, changed her diet slightly, did some working out and when she weighed herself she lost 12 lbs! That's amazing! But you know that feeling you get when someone else has been doing awesome but you haven't? Yeah that little jealous monster . . . it's eating me up inside. I worked out every day for almost 3 weeks and nothing, not a pound. I'm feeling super defeated. Like I equate it to stuff in my life where I've had that feeling, like before I had my son and had miscarriage after miscarriage and everyone around me was getting pregnant. I felt like wow that's so awesome for you but I feel sad for me. It's not that I'm not happy for them I'm just jealous. My sister in law has nicknamed me Negator. I have the worst self loathing problem, I hate how my body is, I hate that I have to work 10 times harder then normal people to see any results, and I hate that I'm stuck. So now I'm at a standstill, wondering what I should do. Part of me knows that the reason I am at this point is because I'm weak, when things get hard and I don't see what I want to happen with my weight loss I give up. Because it's easy. Well it's not working so I may as well stop. I'm doomed to be this weight for the rest of my life is how I feel. My husband keeps trying to cheer me up and it just makes me worse. I don't mean to bring up his weight and how he's never been fat but it's hard. He hates his body, that it's ridden with MD and I understand that but his being skinny isn't only because of his MD, he got his mother's metabolism. How I wish I was "cursed" with the inability to gain weight. Being fat SUCKS! So I just wanted to let you guys know I'm not giving up, I'm just trying to figure out what to do next, because I'm kind of stumped. I'm not stopping because I'm totally done trying, I'm stopping because I quite literally don't know where to go and what to do with my exercise and diet. Obviously what I have been doing hasn't been working. I'm not going to try a fad diet or weird exercise program to see if it works because I'm breastfeeding and that's just not healthy. So I guess I'll let you know what I decide and go from there. If anyone wants to help me out by suggesting things I'm welcome to ideas, maybe someone out in blogger land lives in the area and can coach me through it because alone I'm obviously a lousy coach for myself. Thanks.


Sincerely,

Negator

What is the answer?

So today I'm befuddled. I don't understand how I can workout constantly for almost 3 weeks and eat right, drink lots of water and not have the scale move once. I haven't lost a pound, in fact at times I've magically gained weight. What is the key? I don't understand, is there a secret handshake or password that I just don't know. I'm adding in more cardio this week. Planning on walking for an hour straight every day after Spencer gets home from work, I started my own "my fitness pal" and I have a couple friends on there, dropping pounds and yet my scale doesn't move. It's becoming an extra discouraging factor in all this, people keep telling me gauge how your clothes fit, well my clothes don't seem to be fitting any better because I haven't lost any weight. Is it because I'm breastfeeding? is one question I've been wondering as of late. My fitness pal says I should consume 1200 calories a day for my weight loss goal but because I did extra exercise it gives me extra calories that I can consume so I think I was up to around 1776 calories I could take in yesterday which I think is a good amount but I'm not sure if that's what's impeding my weight loss. All I know is it makes things extra discouraging. Like yesterday I kept thinking to myself, knowing me I'd probably lose weight as soon as I started eating crappy again, that would just be my luck. Not that I'm going to experiment with the idea. I just don't understand my body. I am working my butt off quite literally and nothing gives. So if anyone has any insights please share. I really am stumped as to what to do to lose weight.

Day 16 - thoughts on Satan

So I skipped the weekend workouts which typically I'll do Saturday and take a break on the sabbath which isn't too bad right? Two day is way too long! It made it so much harder to do my workout so I'm never doing that again! So there's this dude that always gives me a hard time, his name is Satan and he's a big fat jerk. He's really pushing on me right now, right as I start to see some small results and really stick with a workout he hits me with all he's got. The key is trying to push him out of my head (cuz that's where he sneaks in and lurks waiting for that right moment to hit me with all he's got). Last few days have been frustrating. Father's day weekend we spent time at my in laws on Saturday, I had cut out most of the complex carbs and sugar and was having major withdrawals. Of course for Father's Day my father in law chooses a huge crazy Costco Apple Pie for his special dessert, I resisted surprisingly but I also had to almost bite off my husband's head beforehand. He got a piece and of course had to exclaim "Oh my gosh this is the best pie ever! mmmmm so good!" I responded with "Shut it! Just be quiet please!" It's like a crack addict sitting there with a whole pile of crack and resisting the urge to use and then someone else going "Oh man this crack is awesome! Oh it's the best I've ever had!" ok that may be a little dramatic but that's how it feels for me when I'm in the thick of detox. I itch for it! Anywho so that happened and then next day we went to my parent's for dinner and I was really good until dessert came around again, my dad had picked banana cream pie and my mom had a chocolate and vanilla amazing looking cake. I tried to resist but justified in my head, it's banana, it's healthier then the apple pie from yesterday, I'll just have a small piece and it'll be fine. In the drug addict's head it's like saying: "Well it's not crack it's just a little marijuana, not nearly as bad as that crack from yesterday I resisted so it's all good right?" yeah not so much. . . . I had the pie and it was fine, then my 5 year old asked for a piece of chocolate cake and some ice cream and only ate the ice cream and by the time he did that, his cousins were done theirs so he didn't want to eat it anymore. He then preceded to bring it to me and say "Mommy I'm done, you eat it k?" Stronger me would've said No! I had pie I'm good! But weaker me said "Hey you've already had the pie so you've already messed it up why not do a real good job at it" and that's what I did. Chocolate cake on top of pie and no workout for two days. So yesterday I did really well and worked out extra hard to make up for the missing my workout. Today is feeling discouraging again, I got up early to do my workout and have been stuck on the couch for a couple hours not wanting to do it. Today's internal monologue has been about not seeing huge results and not seeing the scale move at all. He's telling me it's not working and to give up but I know that's a lie and I just gotta convince myself it's worth it to do this workout. He's hitting me hard, I need to hit back. So it's almost 9:00 and I gotta get my kids up which is going to make it even harder to do my workout but that's ok. It will get done today. I can do this!

Debbie Downer Day

I didn't think the whole broken/not broken scale was going to get me as down as it did. I've been working really hard and I feel like it was for nothing. Why would the scale say I gained weight? Or better yet lost it then gained it and then lost it within seconds. Now the scale has pretty much kicked the bucket and stopped working all together so I don't know what to think. It's frustrating because I really want to meet my goal before my brother in law's wedding. I dyed my hair in an attempt to make myself feel better to no avail. My kids are also driving me nuts beating on each other and Corinne won't let me put her down without screaming at me. She finally cut her tooth and I dunno if it's causing her pain anymore but she is super clingy. I feel like locking myself in my room away from them especially Gavin. The child won't be quiet! Their goal most days is to see if they can drive me crazy and it works most of the time. I feel down because I'm getting discouraged about my diet. I don't know what to eat half the time so I eat the same things over and over at nauseum in hopes that I'll lose weight and then when it doesn't happen I don't know what to do. Spencer can tell I'm discouraged and was asking what I felt like eating and it just kept making me mad. I don't mean to take it out on him I'm just frustrated. Why is it that there's some people that can eat whatever they like and still be skinny and then there's people like me that they even look at a chocolate bar or ice cream and gain a couple pounds. It's not fair! All I want is to be healthier and look and feel better but all I end up being is angry at my fat body and flat butt. Vent over sorry I'm just not in a good mood.

2 weeks!

So i've made it two weeks yay! I'm doing ok, this morning I got up again after nursing Corinne and then got the boys up, fed them and then did my workout. It's 9:20am which is awesome! I am usually not done with it this early. I am going to make myself some breakfast and then take a shower. I am sore still, waiting for my muscles to recover and get stronger. 6 more days until workout 3 which I'm dreading, although I hope when I do finally start it that workout 2 is easier like when I did the first workout it got easier. I am convinced my scale is broken or the battery is low because it gives me a new weight every time I step on it. To me that says it's not working. I've been working out and eating better for 2 weeks straight I couldn't possibly have gained weight could I? I pray that's not the case or that I'm gaining muscle and that's what weighs more lol. Either way I did my workout today, this is mostly to record so I don't forget what day I'm on. My friend Annie is starting day 1 tomorrow which is exciting! I'm always glad when I can inspire someone to get healthier while I'm in the process of doing it myself. My friend Amy Nelson is the one who inspired me, she is so fit and in great shape and cheers me on the whole way. I hope one day to be able to run a 5k with my running friends when I get to where I want to be. I can't run worth spit but part of me feels like I could now that my endurance is getting better with the workouts. Anywho keep up the good work anyone who's doing it with me!

Day 13

Started off rocky with a late wake up but I'm going to do my workout in a bit. I'm super sore but that's alright. I decided to try some potty training with Rowan and he's had one accident and then was dry until his nap which means he's really good at holding it. Not so much at going to the potty yet. I am down to 165 again which is cool. Wasn't expecting the drop in weight at all. I looked up yesterday what my ideal BMI and weight would be for someone of my height and it said 150 lbs is the max for a healthy weight which means I only need to lose 15 lbs. I'd like to reach a goal before my brother in law and his girlfriend get married and I'm in pictures of their wedding. Every wedding I have had pics taken I feel like I look good, then I see the pictures and I feel sick. Patricia and Eddy's wedding I looked pretty good because I had a nice girdle and a flattering dress but still felt extra fat. If I can get to a certain weight in 10 weeks that would be awesome! And I could buy myself a new dress to show off my weight loss. To be in a picture in their wedding and feel like I fit in with all of Spencer's skinny sisters would be fabulous! So I made a goal, if I can lose a steady 2 lbs a week that'll be 20 lbs by the time the wedding comes around. I hope I can do it! I'm going to add in a walk in the evening I think and see if that helps burn some more calories. I'm trying to cut some calories because I know I"m not eating as well as I should and drink lots more water! Ok off to do my workout. Wish me luck!

Day 12

I realized I'm writing blogs every day just so I can keep track of which day I'm on. It's a good way to do it and I can get out what I'm feeling on a certain day. The second workout isn't getting any easier but I can make it through it without taking breaks which is good. In the beginning of all this I could barely get through the first circuit of cardio so I'd say that's progress. I haven't been sleeping well lately which I think definitely doesn't help so we ordered a memory foam mattress and it's set to arrive today which is exciting. I can't wait to get to bed at a reasonable hour and enjoy my bed for once. Lately I've felt like I'm sleeping in a sling and it's so uncomfortable. I woke up this morning sore, a good sign that the second workout is working. My delts are the worst, my shoulders and everything from all the planks she has you do are killer but it gives me hope that I will get strong enough in those areas to do a push up. I sat for a long time this morning in the quiet contemplating skipping my workout. Part of me justified it really well but the part that wants to lose weight and get in shape overpowered. I keep telling Spencer I just can't be fat and out of shape anymore. I really have a goal that before we have anymore kids I am going to get in shape and stay in shape even through my next pregnancy. It's sad that the one goal I always have is to not let myself get over 200 lbs with my pregnancy and that's only 30 lbs gained in every one. If I can get myself down to 140 lbs before getting pregnant again and then only top out at 170 ( or less) then I would be ecstatic. Keep cheering me on! I need it! My 2 or 3 followers lol.

Day 11

I woke up early to feed the baby, shortly after Spencer got up to get ready for work and when I finally finished feeding her she fell back asleep. The boys were still in bed and so I took the opportunity to do my workout in a quiet house with no little people under me threatening to get smacked and kicked by my crazy moves. I think I'd like to adapt my schedule to be this way more often. It's totally less stressful and I don't have to stop as often to get things out of the way. I did my 20 mins uninterrupted and then woke them up and can move on with my day. Next step will be to get them all breakfast and then go hop in the shower while the baby is still asleep. I feel nasty and sticky sweaty but it feels good to have it out of the way. The planks in this workout 2 are just killing me but I muscle through them and it feels good to be working my shoulders, arms and everything else for that matter all at once. I'd like to be able to get strong enough shoulders to do an actual push up and so the push up challenge like a  friend of mine did. Kind of hard to imagine being able to do one let alone 100 but if she can do it so can I. If anyone reading this is trying to lose weight like me, I hope your workouts are going well and you're seeing as good of results as I am. I am trying not to get discouraged and keep on working out but it's hard! My internal self doubter and negative body image creeps up every once in a while (I like to call her Negator) and it makes it even harder to want to do it but I keep trying to imagine my body changing and my ideal weight and shape in my mind so that I don't let it stop me. Here's hoping I can make it through the next 19 days!

Day 10!

This morning was really hard to get motivated. The kids were being extra onry, Corinne kept yelling at me to hold her, she doesn't really cry at me unless she's really tired but she gets mad and does this funny yell like she's cussing me out and this morning just about drove me nuts. The boys were in the way of where I usually do my workout so I sat for a while and contemplated skipping my workout, even though I knew I was going to do it because I had already skipped yesterday (the sabbath) and another day last week because I was tired. Spencer went out to the store for a few things and brought me back a Gatorade and kept offering to take the kids upstairs for a bit and watch a movie so I could do my workout which helped a lot. He has been my personal cheerleader which is what I need. Someone standing by saying that they're proud of me because this is REALLY hard! Today was the dreaded Workout 2 switch, super scary! But surprisingly doable. I like that. Definately harder because more push-ups and planks in this one and I have weenie arms, I still can't really do a full push up so I had to follow Anita (the easy moves) and got through it. Today was the day to take pics, I'm doing pics every 5 days to see if there is any difference. I wasn't expecting much but surprisingly I see a big difference. I dunno if I was bloated in the pics before or if it's real results but it's enough to motivate me to follow through and endure to the end. I was feeling discouraged because over the weekend I ate a lot of stuff I shouldn't have but it didn't seem to add any weight so I'm feeling ok now. I dunno if it's just me, tell me what you think? I see a difference in the flatness of my tummy and pooch is a little smaller, from the back I see it smoothing out quite a bit and my lower tummy and love handles seem to have shrunk a little too. Yay! Jillian Michaels is a slave driver but she does what she promises, in a 20 min workout you come out the other end sweating and out of breath and you really feel it the next day. Here's the pictures:

Day 5

Day 10

Road Block Hurdled! AKA: Day 6 of the 30 day shred

Ok so yesterday was my day 5 of the 30 day shred and I'm doing pretty good at it. I'm feeling my endurance go up and my motivation to do it and eat better is getting really good. I rarely eat crap because I remember after I am done my workout why I'm doing it. I decided I'm going to do pictures every 5 days and see if I can see a difference so here is day 5 of 30 day shred pictures:

Surprisingly I'm not as disgusted as I thought I would be, this is a good thing I suppose. Mind you I think it's because I don't feel like I look too bad for having 3 kids. See that shadow on the third picture? I don't know where it came from but I would absolutely love if my stomach was that flat (I can dream right?) I'm currently at about 166/167 lbs which is up from before we had the fire by 2 or 3 lbs so I'm almost back down to where I was. My current goal weight is 140 lbs long term, short term 150 lbs so not too lofty. That's 17 lbs minimum, doesn't seem like a lot but I haven't been below 160 lbs since I think before I graduated high school. So if I can reach that, it'll be a huge thing for me. 

Now onto the road block, Day 6: Now a disclaimer before I start talking about this, I believe anyone who is going to read this is a woman BUT if there is any men out there in blogger land that is reading this I hope you aren't disgusted by women talk and if so you can stop at the last paragraph and move on without losing any of the point of this entry lol. I have been feeling kind of cruddy for the past few days, partly because I had a sore throat and slight cold caught from my germ factory 5 year old and thanks to his preschool class. I thought that's all it was but apparently AF (aunt flo) decided to show up last night while I was sleeping. Now I know that exercising is supposed to help with cramps and all that but heaven knows thinking about working out and exercising while on your cycle just doesn't happen. BUT I did my workout despite her lovely monthly gift so there you have it. I think if I can hurdle that obstacle then I can do the full 30 days. This makes me extremely happy. 6 days down, 24 more days to go!

Back on the bandwagon . . .

Again! This time I'm determined to do at least the 30 days and see how I do. I have had the 30 day shred video for a while now but as most of you know we had an apartment fire and that kind of threw a monkey wrench into my whole diet and exercise program. We were staying with family and I was in charge of dealing with everything to do with the insurance and finding a new place to live and all that and I am a stress eater. Lately I've been feeling really crappy about how I've gained back a bit of weight and when I started to unpack clothes from the move and nothing fit I really had a hard time. I didn't think that 5 or 6 lbs made THAT big of a difference but it really did. So I'm starting over except this time I'm sticking with it. I plan to do the 30 day shred for the full 30 days (today being day 2). We also aquired a Kinect yesterday and I really want to try the Zumba Fitness game because it looks fun and challenging at the same time. I've heard the Dance Central game is really fun and a good workout too so I'm gonna use those to try a few new things, all the while doing the 30 day shred. I think my biggest challenge as of late is getting a good night's rest so that I have the right amount of energy to get moving in the morning. Corinne isn't exactly the greatest sleeper, she wakes at least two times a night to nurse, then Gavin is really sick right now with a cold of some sorts and was up a couple times last night. The stresses of being a mom *sighs*

I was talking about all this with a few friends yesterday about how hard it is some days to even get a shower, let alone get the motivation to get up early, do a workout and shower before the kids wake up. So instead I got myself up when Corinne woke up, threw on my workout gear so that I can't back out, fed her, got Rowan up (because he was awake and Gavin is still out because of  his cold), fed him and now I'm about to do my workout and have some breakfast. I'm sure I won't be as motivated as I am today every day but I can at least try and that's what matters. I need to stop putting me on the backburner because an unhappy mom means an unhappy family. Wish me luck! Back on the bandwagon for good hopefully!

Enemy . . . Thy Name is Hot Fudge . . .

So it's like I make a goal and then instantly sabotage myself. I haven't exercised in a while because heck it's hard! lol. I'm not one of those people that gets addicted to exercise but I wish I was. I did the 30 day shred video once and then it hurt so much the next day that I never did it again, I really need to get into doing it every day but for now I'll take baby steps. BUT I've been really good on my diet change (lifestyle change) and lost weight down to 165 lbs and the other day discovered I could fit into the size 10 Old Navy jeans I bought over Christmas for a good deal. That was one of my goals and I did it! Now just because I fit into them and can do them up doesn't mean they look good but like I said baby steps lol. I'd like to put them on and not have a huge muffin top hanging out the sides but the fact that I can do them up without having to dance is awesome!!! Then after being able to wear them I promptly start eating like crap again, why do I do that to myself? I had a mellow yellow on the way home from a late night dessert run thanks to my wonderful husband saying "Hey you know what sounds good?" and rattling off all kinds of desserts. I went to the store with every intention of getting what I usually do for myself : Low fat double churned vanilla ice cream and Diet A&W root beer for my low sugar/fat root beer floats but when I got there I really started to crave hot fudge or more specifically a peanut buster parfait from Dairy Queen *drools* oh man it was bad. So I went over to the hot fudge and they had no sugar hot fudge, I picked it up and gazed lovingly at the full sugar stuff. Walked away, got some peanuts, got the low fat vanilla ice cream and then turned around went back and traded the no sugar stuff for the real stuff. I figure if I'm going to do it I may as well do it right, bad decision! It tasted so good but afterwards I felt so sick to my stomach, my body is SO not used to sugar like that anymore. Oh well it was worth it and I'll just get up early and do my workout and make up for it is what I figure. So yeah I gotta get back on the bandwagon, I haven't gained anything back but I haven't lost any either. Today we booked our trip to Las Vegas and I'd like to look somewhat ok and feel confident in a bathing suit while we're there. We are going to be staying at the Las Vegas Hilton which looks so nice and is a 4 star Hotel! When I finally hit the button to book everything I instantly just wanted to go now lol. April will get here fast and I can't wait to witness my sister in law and her fiance Eddy's wedding, so excited for them! Alright back to working out, wish me luck!

It's coming off slowly . . .

I know they say that a pound a week is healthy and natural for you to lose so I was ok with that but I had made a goal of being to my goal weight and in good shape by the time we go down to Vegas for my sister in law and her fiancee Eddy get married in April. I have been doing really well lately. Cutting out most of the junk out of my diet and I'm really starting to feel good now and the weight is coming off slowly. Some days I step on the scale for curiosity and I'm still the same weight and some days I step on and I've lost half a pound, not too bad. I am guilty of stepping on the scale once a day instead of just letting my clothes be the judge. I need that tangible number to make me feel good about what I'm doing. Color my shocked when I stepped on the scale when I woke up this morning and before I showered and I am down to 167.5 when last weight I was 170! Wow that's pretty good. In fact it's really good! It means I'm a pound and a half from my pre-pregnancy weight with Corinne and that I've almost lost 30 lbs from when I topped out at 196 lbs right before she was born. That feels pretty good. Only issue is I don't want to just be my pre-pregnancy weight. It means I still would have 26 lbs to lose but even that isn't too lofty or hard to imagine losing now that I'm sticking to it.

I actually went to Old Navy yesterday and bought myself some shirts that are in a smaller size for when I lose weight (that's when not if) because I feel like nothing fits me properly and I will have some clothes as goal to fit into. I plan on starting going to bed early which for me is probably 10:00 if the baby will let me and then getting up around 6 and going for a walk. Then at night when the boys are down and heaven help me if Corinne will let me put her down too I will do a workout video from netflix instant download or I am renting Jillian Michael's 30 day shred to try out. I don't know why I didn't think of it before but why spend the money when I can rent and try out multiple videos to keep from getting bored. Just gotta stay motivated. Here's hoping I can get that great bikini body by the time Vegas comes around, or at least a smaller sized cute one peice so I don't feel like I have to wear a big t-shirt over it to keep from everyone staring.

Bad Start to the Day but it did get better :)

Today's day started yet again with a headache and a sugar craving. I hate how I feel when I deal with sugar withdrawals. I am cranky and tired and every sound that my kids make makes me want to scream. I hate that it has such a bad effect on me. Just goes to show how it effects me when I am on it, just like any addiction when you stop having it, it's brutal! BUT silver lining, I got to see my best friend today! Yay! She is 36 weeks pregnant with her third baby and I brought her some stuff for the baby and made her a mini cupcake hat. She has kids that are 4 months older and 4 months younger then my kids (totally a coincidence) but it makes it fun to get together because the kids entertain each other and we get some adult time. It was so fun to hang out at their house and enjoy their company. The other reason today got better is because today was a little bit of a cheat day. I am allowing myself one day a week preferrably Saturday to eat something and not feel guilty. I don't go overboard. I have dinner and cheat. So I had Beau Leg's Fish and Chips, we got the cod and chips with coleslaw and hushpuppies on the side, it was SO good I just wish there was more of it now lol. Spencer and I shared it so we both got two filets and some chips. I so love their food and at this point they are the only reasonably priced fish and chips place that isn't a sit down restaurant  in town. So now I am happy and feel a little physically better. And once the kids are in bed I'm going to attempt to do another work out not sure which yet, I'm going to try to do one of the videos my friend sent me a link to and see what I think. I've actually considered saving up money and buying a kinect just so I can play games where I can physically do them lol. And so that was my day, here's hoping for more days that start out the way mine ended :)

My Sugar Addiction . . .

Today is one of those days where I really want a do-over. Mainly because I'm moody and every word and sound that comes out of my kids and husband's mouth grates on my last nerve. Why you may ask? Because I'm kind of detoxing off of sugar, which is like taking away a drug addict's cocaine. It's BAD! It's especially bad because I have insulin resistance which is a pre-cursor to diabetes so I need to lower my sugar intake because it's the only way to prevent me from getting diabetes and to help me lose weight. I remember the last time I did this and I felt like a psycho and I'm feeling it again. It's so frustrating! I get headaches, I'm irratible and I CRAVE like you wouldn't believe. Some days I feel like I'd do anything for a donut or some chocolate but I try not to give in or if I do I have barely any so I don't lose control. I am a bonafide Sugar Addict, and the first step to beating the addiction is admitting you have a problem. I am not like most people, I can sit down with a pack of oreos and eat the whole thing in one sitting, mainly cuz I have no self control. I have told Spencer on many occasions if he wants to have anything like that, be it soda, cookies, ice cream then don't bring it in the house because it'll disappear really fast. I dont' know why but I just can't. BUT there is a light at the end of this tunnel, once I'm off the sugar I do a lot better about not having it. It's just that initial detox that kills me. Everything that's low sugar or no sugar makes me angry like it's the food's fault for not having sugar in it. It makes no sense that an inanimate object like this would make me so mad but it does. So for now I will just drink more water and eat my sugar free foods and hopefully in the next week or so my body will get used to the idea that I am not going to be eating much sugar for my own health. And maybe I won't kill my kids and husband . . . Maybe. Saying lots of prayers today because I feel HORRIBLE.

Dear Skinny Husband . . .

I know you think you're helping when you ask me if "I'm sure I want to eat that" or "have you done your workout today" but it really doesn't help. Spencer tends to get pretty angry at me when I know he's trying to encourage me to keep going but all I hear is harpings from the skinniest, never been fat in his life person. It doesn't really do a whole lot for me. When I say skinniest I mean skinniest. My husband is 6'1" and 140 lbs soaking wet. Has never been fat in his life and in my head I know he'll never be fat ever. He was blessed with his mother's metabolism and burns calories tapping his foot. He can pretty much eat whatever he wants and in turn we eat lousy. Until now! I love my husband don't get me wrong he's just not what I feel is the best coach for keeping me going. If anyone wants to help me with my weight loss please let me know, I would love people cheering me on and giving me tips. Just not you Spencer . . . again I love you *smiles*

The All Dreaded BEFORE Picture . . . Dun Dun Dun!!

Here it is. At 170 lbs in all it's lumpy frumpy glory my "Before" isn't it purdy? I try to take a before pic so I can see the difference as I go along. I also try to make myself look as aweful as I can and then take it so that the difference will be amazing when I post my goal weight picture. Clever no? I always notice that that is what they do on the infomercials. Look how aweful and fat I was *insert picture with double chin, belly sticking out as far as you can push it, most unflattering stance, no make up and hair unkept looking like they just crawled out of bed* and then the after where their hair and make up is done, standing up straight and wearing the best clothes they have like woah what a difference! In reality it's probably them at the same weight photoshopped and wearing a girdle with a professional hair stylist. One of these times I'd love to see an infomercial that is honest about the weight loss like instead of it being at the bottom of the screen *actual result may vary and are not typical* Hmmm that helps me want to buy that exercise video. . .

Someday I will come up with my own ideal infomercial where the people have before pictures where they don't look like crap but you can still see the difference and the disclaimer at the bottom will say something like this.

*Results are pretty typical but they do vary and if you don't keep up at it you will end up fat and lazy and have no energy so stop watching this informercial and get your dumpy butt off the couch and do your workout video*

Yeah that's the type of video I'd buy :)

Letting it all Hang out . . .

So here we go, I was taking a shower this morning and every day I've started stepping on the scale in the morning (i know bad thing to do but I do it anyway) just to see if I've lost anymore weight. I just had a baby a few months ago and now I'm feeling the need to get into really good shape, I know everyone has a resolution to lose weight and I've lost weight in the past but not as much as I'd like to. Plus losing weight is different then getting in shape in my opinion, you can be skinny but not be in good shape so I'd like to be both. My goal at this point isn't a lofty one and I'm well on my way with losing a pound or so a week. I know what I have to do but it's getting the motivation to do it.

First step I took towards my weight loss goal was to borrow P90X from a friend. So here's what I was thinking when I did this *in my head* Yeah I've seen the infomercials and it looks like it would work really really well. I'm gonna go for it! Skip ahead to after trying to do the first workout and only getting halfway through because the baby was crying to be fed *in my head again* oh crap I can't even do one pushup that's not going to work what the frack was I thinking?! skip ahead to me eating a donut and giving up yet again.

No just kidding I've actually been doing good on eating well. I lost another pound and a half this morning so I was feeling good. Then I washed my jeans and tried to put them on (size 12) and I had to do the "dance of shame" just to get them done up. Seriously?! Skip ahead to me digging through my laundry on the hunt for my girdle. *insert major sad face here* So I squeeze my non existant butt into the girdle which has two, count them TWO peices: One called a Kymaro (don't know if that's how you spell it)

This is to suck in the unsightly back roll/back "boob" if you were that I affectionately call the "bread basket" that has formed in my upper back region. Next is the second piece of my object of girdley affection the giant underboob knee length corset to suck in my muffin top region and my cottage cheese thighs. This wonderful contraption is meant to suck it all in and make everything smooth. 

Now remember this is supposed (note I said supposed) to suck everything in and make everything look better. Well this morning after digging through the laundry in my room and finding it and squishing everything into it, I put on my pants and I still had to dance to get in them and I still had a little bit of a muffin top. How sad is that? That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Not that long ago I thought I looked pretty good for having three kids and in reality I'm pretty sure I'm doing good in that aspect but I want to look and feel better. So lets get on with it!

Not that long ago I was called to teach the 12 year old girls in Young Women's at church. I loved it! Not only was it fun but the other leaders  were such good friends to me and it was so much fun, except for shortly before I was called I got pregnant. All the other leaders are athletes and/or slim and cute and fashionable and I felt like huge fatty frump girl. Try as I might I felt fat and out of shape as I went through my pregnancy and was later released after I had my baby but I still remain friends with them all of course. I look at these few ladies and I want that! I wanna be cute and skinny and in really good shape and feel good about myself, instead of avoiding the mirror like if I look in it I will magically gain another pound or see what my body looks like. I wanna feel like my clothes fit good instead of settling for them fitting.

My goal isn't lofty, I'd like to lose 30 lbs at this point. I weighed myself this morning and I was 170 so goal weight 140 lbs and I'm 5'5". Not too bad right? I can do this right? So here we go. A place to vent how I feel and let it all hang out quite literally. Out of the girdle never to return again I hope . . .