Day 16 - thoughts on Satan

So I skipped the weekend workouts which typically I'll do Saturday and take a break on the sabbath which isn't too bad right? Two day is way too long! It made it so much harder to do my workout so I'm never doing that again! So there's this dude that always gives me a hard time, his name is Satan and he's a big fat jerk. He's really pushing on me right now, right as I start to see some small results and really stick with a workout he hits me with all he's got. The key is trying to push him out of my head (cuz that's where he sneaks in and lurks waiting for that right moment to hit me with all he's got). Last few days have been frustrating. Father's day weekend we spent time at my in laws on Saturday, I had cut out most of the complex carbs and sugar and was having major withdrawals. Of course for Father's Day my father in law chooses a huge crazy Costco Apple Pie for his special dessert, I resisted surprisingly but I also had to almost bite off my husband's head beforehand. He got a piece and of course had to exclaim "Oh my gosh this is the best pie ever! mmmmm so good!" I responded with "Shut it! Just be quiet please!" It's like a crack addict sitting there with a whole pile of crack and resisting the urge to use and then someone else going "Oh man this crack is awesome! Oh it's the best I've ever had!" ok that may be a little dramatic but that's how it feels for me when I'm in the thick of detox. I itch for it! Anywho so that happened and then next day we went to my parent's for dinner and I was really good until dessert came around again, my dad had picked banana cream pie and my mom had a chocolate and vanilla amazing looking cake. I tried to resist but justified in my head, it's banana, it's healthier then the apple pie from yesterday, I'll just have a small piece and it'll be fine. In the drug addict's head it's like saying: "Well it's not crack it's just a little marijuana, not nearly as bad as that crack from yesterday I resisted so it's all good right?" yeah not so much. . . . I had the pie and it was fine, then my 5 year old asked for a piece of chocolate cake and some ice cream and only ate the ice cream and by the time he did that, his cousins were done theirs so he didn't want to eat it anymore. He then preceded to bring it to me and say "Mommy I'm done, you eat it k?" Stronger me would've said No! I had pie I'm good! But weaker me said "Hey you've already had the pie so you've already messed it up why not do a real good job at it" and that's what I did. Chocolate cake on top of pie and no workout for two days. So yesterday I did really well and worked out extra hard to make up for the missing my workout. Today is feeling discouraging again, I got up early to do my workout and have been stuck on the couch for a couple hours not wanting to do it. Today's internal monologue has been about not seeing huge results and not seeing the scale move at all. He's telling me it's not working and to give up but I know that's a lie and I just gotta convince myself it's worth it to do this workout. He's hitting me hard, I need to hit back. So it's almost 9:00 and I gotta get my kids up which is going to make it even harder to do my workout but that's ok. It will get done today. I can do this!