Letting it all Hang out . . .

So here we go, I was taking a shower this morning and every day I've started stepping on the scale in the morning (i know bad thing to do but I do it anyway) just to see if I've lost anymore weight. I just had a baby a few months ago and now I'm feeling the need to get into really good shape, I know everyone has a resolution to lose weight and I've lost weight in the past but not as much as I'd like to. Plus losing weight is different then getting in shape in my opinion, you can be skinny but not be in good shape so I'd like to be both. My goal at this point isn't a lofty one and I'm well on my way with losing a pound or so a week. I know what I have to do but it's getting the motivation to do it.

First step I took towards my weight loss goal was to borrow P90X from a friend. So here's what I was thinking when I did this *in my head* Yeah I've seen the infomercials and it looks like it would work really really well. I'm gonna go for it! Skip ahead to after trying to do the first workout and only getting halfway through because the baby was crying to be fed *in my head again* oh crap I can't even do one pushup that's not going to work what the frack was I thinking?! skip ahead to me eating a donut and giving up yet again.

No just kidding I've actually been doing good on eating well. I lost another pound and a half this morning so I was feeling good. Then I washed my jeans and tried to put them on (size 12) and I had to do the "dance of shame" just to get them done up. Seriously?! Skip ahead to me digging through my laundry on the hunt for my girdle. *insert major sad face here* So I squeeze my non existant butt into the girdle which has two, count them TWO peices: One called a Kymaro (don't know if that's how you spell it)

This is to suck in the unsightly back roll/back "boob" if you were that I affectionately call the "bread basket" that has formed in my upper back region. Next is the second piece of my object of girdley affection the giant underboob knee length corset to suck in my muffin top region and my cottage cheese thighs. This wonderful contraption is meant to suck it all in and make everything smooth. 

Now remember this is supposed (note I said supposed) to suck everything in and make everything look better. Well this morning after digging through the laundry in my room and finding it and squishing everything into it, I put on my pants and I still had to dance to get in them and I still had a little bit of a muffin top. How sad is that? That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Not that long ago I thought I looked pretty good for having three kids and in reality I'm pretty sure I'm doing good in that aspect but I want to look and feel better. So lets get on with it!

Not that long ago I was called to teach the 12 year old girls in Young Women's at church. I loved it! Not only was it fun but the other leaders  were such good friends to me and it was so much fun, except for shortly before I was called I got pregnant. All the other leaders are athletes and/or slim and cute and fashionable and I felt like huge fatty frump girl. Try as I might I felt fat and out of shape as I went through my pregnancy and was later released after I had my baby but I still remain friends with them all of course. I look at these few ladies and I want that! I wanna be cute and skinny and in really good shape and feel good about myself, instead of avoiding the mirror like if I look in it I will magically gain another pound or see what my body looks like. I wanna feel like my clothes fit good instead of settling for them fitting.

My goal isn't lofty, I'd like to lose 30 lbs at this point. I weighed myself this morning and I was 170 so goal weight 140 lbs and I'm 5'5". Not too bad right? I can do this right? So here we go. A place to vent how I feel and let it all hang out quite literally. Out of the girdle never to return again I hope . . .