Day 13

Started off rocky with a late wake up but I'm going to do my workout in a bit. I'm super sore but that's alright. I decided to try some potty training with Rowan and he's had one accident and then was dry until his nap which means he's really good at holding it. Not so much at going to the potty yet. I am down to 165 again which is cool. Wasn't expecting the drop in weight at all. I looked up yesterday what my ideal BMI and weight would be for someone of my height and it said 150 lbs is the max for a healthy weight which means I only need to lose 15 lbs. I'd like to reach a goal before my brother in law and his girlfriend get married and I'm in pictures of their wedding. Every wedding I have had pics taken I feel like I look good, then I see the pictures and I feel sick. Patricia and Eddy's wedding I looked pretty good because I had a nice girdle and a flattering dress but still felt extra fat. If I can get to a certain weight in 10 weeks that would be awesome! And I could buy myself a new dress to show off my weight loss. To be in a picture in their wedding and feel like I fit in with all of Spencer's skinny sisters would be fabulous! So I made a goal, if I can lose a steady 2 lbs a week that'll be 20 lbs by the time the wedding comes around. I hope I can do it! I'm going to add in a walk in the evening I think and see if that helps burn some more calories. I'm trying to cut some calories because I know I"m not eating as well as I should and drink lots more water! Ok off to do my workout. Wish me luck!

Day 12

I realized I'm writing blogs every day just so I can keep track of which day I'm on. It's a good way to do it and I can get out what I'm feeling on a certain day. The second workout isn't getting any easier but I can make it through it without taking breaks which is good. In the beginning of all this I could barely get through the first circuit of cardio so I'd say that's progress. I haven't been sleeping well lately which I think definitely doesn't help so we ordered a memory foam mattress and it's set to arrive today which is exciting. I can't wait to get to bed at a reasonable hour and enjoy my bed for once. Lately I've felt like I'm sleeping in a sling and it's so uncomfortable. I woke up this morning sore, a good sign that the second workout is working. My delts are the worst, my shoulders and everything from all the planks she has you do are killer but it gives me hope that I will get strong enough in those areas to do a push up. I sat for a long time this morning in the quiet contemplating skipping my workout. Part of me justified it really well but the part that wants to lose weight and get in shape overpowered. I keep telling Spencer I just can't be fat and out of shape anymore. I really have a goal that before we have anymore kids I am going to get in shape and stay in shape even through my next pregnancy. It's sad that the one goal I always have is to not let myself get over 200 lbs with my pregnancy and that's only 30 lbs gained in every one. If I can get myself down to 140 lbs before getting pregnant again and then only top out at 170 ( or less) then I would be ecstatic. Keep cheering me on! I need it! My 2 or 3 followers lol.

Day 11

I woke up early to feed the baby, shortly after Spencer got up to get ready for work and when I finally finished feeding her she fell back asleep. The boys were still in bed and so I took the opportunity to do my workout in a quiet house with no little people under me threatening to get smacked and kicked by my crazy moves. I think I'd like to adapt my schedule to be this way more often. It's totally less stressful and I don't have to stop as often to get things out of the way. I did my 20 mins uninterrupted and then woke them up and can move on with my day. Next step will be to get them all breakfast and then go hop in the shower while the baby is still asleep. I feel nasty and sticky sweaty but it feels good to have it out of the way. The planks in this workout 2 are just killing me but I muscle through them and it feels good to be working my shoulders, arms and everything else for that matter all at once. I'd like to be able to get strong enough shoulders to do an actual push up and so the push up challenge like a  friend of mine did. Kind of hard to imagine being able to do one let alone 100 but if she can do it so can I. If anyone reading this is trying to lose weight like me, I hope your workouts are going well and you're seeing as good of results as I am. I am trying not to get discouraged and keep on working out but it's hard! My internal self doubter and negative body image creeps up every once in a while (I like to call her Negator) and it makes it even harder to want to do it but I keep trying to imagine my body changing and my ideal weight and shape in my mind so that I don't let it stop me. Here's hoping I can make it through the next 19 days!

Day 10!

This morning was really hard to get motivated. The kids were being extra onry, Corinne kept yelling at me to hold her, she doesn't really cry at me unless she's really tired but she gets mad and does this funny yell like she's cussing me out and this morning just about drove me nuts. The boys were in the way of where I usually do my workout so I sat for a while and contemplated skipping my workout, even though I knew I was going to do it because I had already skipped yesterday (the sabbath) and another day last week because I was tired. Spencer went out to the store for a few things and brought me back a Gatorade and kept offering to take the kids upstairs for a bit and watch a movie so I could do my workout which helped a lot. He has been my personal cheerleader which is what I need. Someone standing by saying that they're proud of me because this is REALLY hard! Today was the dreaded Workout 2 switch, super scary! But surprisingly doable. I like that. Definately harder because more push-ups and planks in this one and I have weenie arms, I still can't really do a full push up so I had to follow Anita (the easy moves) and got through it. Today was the day to take pics, I'm doing pics every 5 days to see if there is any difference. I wasn't expecting much but surprisingly I see a big difference. I dunno if I was bloated in the pics before or if it's real results but it's enough to motivate me to follow through and endure to the end. I was feeling discouraged because over the weekend I ate a lot of stuff I shouldn't have but it didn't seem to add any weight so I'm feeling ok now. I dunno if it's just me, tell me what you think? I see a difference in the flatness of my tummy and pooch is a little smaller, from the back I see it smoothing out quite a bit and my lower tummy and love handles seem to have shrunk a little too. Yay! Jillian Michaels is a slave driver but she does what she promises, in a 20 min workout you come out the other end sweating and out of breath and you really feel it the next day. Here's the pictures:

Day 5

Day 10

Road Block Hurdled! AKA: Day 6 of the 30 day shred

Ok so yesterday was my day 5 of the 30 day shred and I'm doing pretty good at it. I'm feeling my endurance go up and my motivation to do it and eat better is getting really good. I rarely eat crap because I remember after I am done my workout why I'm doing it. I decided I'm going to do pictures every 5 days and see if I can see a difference so here is day 5 of 30 day shred pictures:

Surprisingly I'm not as disgusted as I thought I would be, this is a good thing I suppose. Mind you I think it's because I don't feel like I look too bad for having 3 kids. See that shadow on the third picture? I don't know where it came from but I would absolutely love if my stomach was that flat (I can dream right?) I'm currently at about 166/167 lbs which is up from before we had the fire by 2 or 3 lbs so I'm almost back down to where I was. My current goal weight is 140 lbs long term, short term 150 lbs so not too lofty. That's 17 lbs minimum, doesn't seem like a lot but I haven't been below 160 lbs since I think before I graduated high school. So if I can reach that, it'll be a huge thing for me. 

Now onto the road block, Day 6: Now a disclaimer before I start talking about this, I believe anyone who is going to read this is a woman BUT if there is any men out there in blogger land that is reading this I hope you aren't disgusted by women talk and if so you can stop at the last paragraph and move on without losing any of the point of this entry lol. I have been feeling kind of cruddy for the past few days, partly because I had a sore throat and slight cold caught from my germ factory 5 year old and thanks to his preschool class. I thought that's all it was but apparently AF (aunt flo) decided to show up last night while I was sleeping. Now I know that exercising is supposed to help with cramps and all that but heaven knows thinking about working out and exercising while on your cycle just doesn't happen. BUT I did my workout despite her lovely monthly gift so there you have it. I think if I can hurdle that obstacle then I can do the full 30 days. This makes me extremely happy. 6 days down, 24 more days to go!

Back on the bandwagon . . .

Again! This time I'm determined to do at least the 30 days and see how I do. I have had the 30 day shred video for a while now but as most of you know we had an apartment fire and that kind of threw a monkey wrench into my whole diet and exercise program. We were staying with family and I was in charge of dealing with everything to do with the insurance and finding a new place to live and all that and I am a stress eater. Lately I've been feeling really crappy about how I've gained back a bit of weight and when I started to unpack clothes from the move and nothing fit I really had a hard time. I didn't think that 5 or 6 lbs made THAT big of a difference but it really did. So I'm starting over except this time I'm sticking with it. I plan to do the 30 day shred for the full 30 days (today being day 2). We also aquired a Kinect yesterday and I really want to try the Zumba Fitness game because it looks fun and challenging at the same time. I've heard the Dance Central game is really fun and a good workout too so I'm gonna use those to try a few new things, all the while doing the 30 day shred. I think my biggest challenge as of late is getting a good night's rest so that I have the right amount of energy to get moving in the morning. Corinne isn't exactly the greatest sleeper, she wakes at least two times a night to nurse, then Gavin is really sick right now with a cold of some sorts and was up a couple times last night. The stresses of being a mom *sighs*

I was talking about all this with a few friends yesterday about how hard it is some days to even get a shower, let alone get the motivation to get up early, do a workout and shower before the kids wake up. So instead I got myself up when Corinne woke up, threw on my workout gear so that I can't back out, fed her, got Rowan up (because he was awake and Gavin is still out because of  his cold), fed him and now I'm about to do my workout and have some breakfast. I'm sure I won't be as motivated as I am today every day but I can at least try and that's what matters. I need to stop putting me on the backburner because an unhappy mom means an unhappy family. Wish me luck! Back on the bandwagon for good hopefully!

Enemy . . . Thy Name is Hot Fudge . . .

So it's like I make a goal and then instantly sabotage myself. I haven't exercised in a while because heck it's hard! lol. I'm not one of those people that gets addicted to exercise but I wish I was. I did the 30 day shred video once and then it hurt so much the next day that I never did it again, I really need to get into doing it every day but for now I'll take baby steps. BUT I've been really good on my diet change (lifestyle change) and lost weight down to 165 lbs and the other day discovered I could fit into the size 10 Old Navy jeans I bought over Christmas for a good deal. That was one of my goals and I did it! Now just because I fit into them and can do them up doesn't mean they look good but like I said baby steps lol. I'd like to put them on and not have a huge muffin top hanging out the sides but the fact that I can do them up without having to dance is awesome!!! Then after being able to wear them I promptly start eating like crap again, why do I do that to myself? I had a mellow yellow on the way home from a late night dessert run thanks to my wonderful husband saying "Hey you know what sounds good?" and rattling off all kinds of desserts. I went to the store with every intention of getting what I usually do for myself : Low fat double churned vanilla ice cream and Diet A&W root beer for my low sugar/fat root beer floats but when I got there I really started to crave hot fudge or more specifically a peanut buster parfait from Dairy Queen *drools* oh man it was bad. So I went over to the hot fudge and they had no sugar hot fudge, I picked it up and gazed lovingly at the full sugar stuff. Walked away, got some peanuts, got the low fat vanilla ice cream and then turned around went back and traded the no sugar stuff for the real stuff. I figure if I'm going to do it I may as well do it right, bad decision! It tasted so good but afterwards I felt so sick to my stomach, my body is SO not used to sugar like that anymore. Oh well it was worth it and I'll just get up early and do my workout and make up for it is what I figure. So yeah I gotta get back on the bandwagon, I haven't gained anything back but I haven't lost any either. Today we booked our trip to Las Vegas and I'd like to look somewhat ok and feel confident in a bathing suit while we're there. We are going to be staying at the Las Vegas Hilton which looks so nice and is a 4 star Hotel! When I finally hit the button to book everything I instantly just wanted to go now lol. April will get here fast and I can't wait to witness my sister in law and her fiance Eddy's wedding, so excited for them! Alright back to working out, wish me luck!