I have been posting on Facebook but haven't really used this blog in a really long time. Today in particular I really need to write down how I'm doing to show how far I've come. I am on the third week of Turbo Fire with Chalene Johnson and oh man is it hard but to this point I've been able to follow the schedule without problem. I've lost some inches (nothing super substantial but still good).
Now the reason for the title. I am famous for the 15 day give up. I did the 30 day shred twice or attempted it at least and only made it 15 days both times. I am finding I hit that point and then don't see the huge results I would like and I give up discourage and mentally blocked. I know most of the time it's all mental, my body can physically do it but my brain just gets defeated and therefore I totally give up. And guess what? today I'm creeping up on the 15 day mark.
Today was the first day that I physically just couldn't do what I wanted to with my workout. I was really pushing it, doing the High Intensity Interval Training 15 minute video and they do what is called a "fire drill" and I got through the first and started to almost hyperventilate I was so out of breath. I broke down, stopped the video and started bawling. I am very Type A and when there's something I want to be able to do but can't I get really mentally blocked. I hit a wall, tried to calm myself down but just needed a good cry. Spencer tried to encourage me which was sweet but for some reason with him its hard to feel it. I know he's trying but when people who are skinny and never have to work a day to stay that way I just feel like they don't know how hard this is. Not his fault of course and I don't want him to stop encouraging me because it helps, it really does but at the moment I just couldn't use it to motivate me, in fact it made me more mad. Again not his fault just my mental state at the time.
I've joined a couple groups as of late on Facebook and so I got on two of them and posted about how I needed help because I am just so defeated and I loved the responses I got. One of them reminded me of a quote that I heard in a talk at church one Sunday. I believe it was from my friend Amy Nelson. It went along the lines of "In life there are going to be big boulders in our way (obstacles) you can either think of them as road blocks or stepping stones up to where you want to be." I may have totally misquoted but it was something along those lines.
Tracey, the woman in my group said this: "It is hard, but totally
doable! And you're right, all you can do is try and only you know if you
are putting in 100% of your effort. I climbed a waterfall in Jamaica
when I was over 300 lbs and after the second slippery rock I wanted to
turn back, but that wasn't an option. So I just focused on the next rock
I needed to climb, and once I was on that rock I focused on the next. I
did that about a billion times, and before I knew it I was at the top
of the waterfall. That experience was a good lesson for me on how to
take things one step at a time. Just get through today's workout, that
is the only slippery rock you need to focus on right now. YOU CAN
TOTALLY DO THIS!!! :):):)"
I start bawling when I read it because it helped me get up, brush myself off, wipe away the tears and do it. I did my workout after such a mental block I felt like I just couldn't do it. And I feel AWESOME! All the women are so encouraging in my group and I hope to be able to get past the 15 day mark and finish the full 20 weeks. That in itself would just be a HUGE accomplishment for me. I need to do this and I want that "After" picture once and for all. If you read this far I hope this helps you too. Thanks!
